Faith seeking understanding, my personal journey towards a deeper knowledge of and intimacy with God, the cosmos, humanity and myself through thoughts, words and (occasionally) images, is a series of [hopefully] daily reflections I’m writing with the purpose of publishing something on a regular basis for others to read, either here, at joncarllewis.com or among my writings at Medium.com.
So, it’s been over a month since I started this “Faith Seeking Understanding” project. This is the 35th reflection I’ve written without missing a day. I’d knock on wood, but I suspect grit as much as luck has been responsible for this accomplishment. Not that I am not grateful for my good fortune, the good fortune which allows me and compels me to write. But I wonder, as I look back on the experience so far, if faith really has led me to any understanding.
I think it just might have. I have kept the faith: I have shown up every night for 35 nights in a row, and I have gone places in my writing that have increased my understanding of God, the cosmos, humanity and myself.
I found myself exploring territory which was familiar to me, talking about spiritual practice and scripture and my faith journey.
And I also found myself exploring territory which lay buried deep in my soul, such as my reflections on race.
I was inspired to draw pictures and publish them, and I was moved to poetry a couple of times.
Early on, I was able to sketch out the preliminaries of a manifesto: “God loves all of you and God loves all of you!”
So, have I come to the place for which I have sighed? Yes and no.
Part of this experiment was to see if I could write something every day for an audience. I had been writing almost every day in my journal, material that may never see the light of day (at least I hope not before I die). But I don’t want to be another Emily Dickenson; I want to be able to directly engage with the people who are reading my writing while I am alive. I want to test my ideas in the court of public opinion and among the arbiters of taste. That way I can learn a different way of seeing things or, perhaps, come to a fuller understanding of why I hold to be true what I hold to be true.
Another part of my experiment was to find my voice. At first, I was thinking of this in terms of a subject matter I could focus on, but I don’t think I have been able to narrow myself down as much as I would have liked at the outset. That said, I’m glad for the opportunity to have addressed a handful of different themes from my unique perspective, but in community with other writers who are tackling the same topics, each in their own ways.
So where do I find myself? I find myself at the beginning of a journey. I am glad that I have numbered my reflections with three digits; that means I can write up to 1,000 reflections before I have to start renumbering or coming up with titles other than “Faith seeking understanding.” Now the goal is to see if I can do a year of daily reflections. That feels like a worthy goal, although it scares me to set it. But the energy of fear is very similar to the energy of excitement, and so I find myself as excited as I am fearful for the next phases of the journey.
Wish me luck as I press on.
And thank you for making this journey with me so far. I hope I have helped you come to a greater understanding of your own place in the universe and the truths of your own heart.
Thank you for your time and attention.
I’d love to know your thoughts on what you’ve read.
Please comment, below, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
May God richly bless you on your journey.
Unless otherwise noted, this page and its contents © 2018-2020 Jon Carl Lewis.