Faith seeking understanding, my personal journey towards a deeper knowledge of and intimacy with God, the cosmos, humanity and myself through thoughts, words and (occasionally) images, is a series of [hopefully] daily reflections I’m writing with the purpose of publishing something on a regular basis for others to read, either here, at or among my writings at

Photo by Artem Bali on Unsplash.

Someone wrote today what I wished I had written tonight. I will allow myself to pout a little. The author is a little farther ahead of me on solving a problem we both have—and has adopted the same method to overcome it. But he thought to make it into today’s reflection for him and I didn’t.

I was just about to write that I’m not usually given to envy, but that’s a lie. I’m terribly competitive when it comes to writing and ideas. This is a bad thing. It’s also a good thing. This competitiveness is a bad thing to the extent that when another author “wins” by writing well on a subject I wanted to write about, it can shut down my voice (or my willingness to write on that topic). Yet it’s also a good thing because reading something I “should” have written lets me know my ideas a valuable enough to bring to light.

I’d like to talk more about envy and the writing life: I’ve just been reading about the friendships and the competitions of Gore Vidal, Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote and their many literary contemporaries and heroes, and I’ve found it intriguing. Perhaps what I envy most is the fact that there was a group of writers, all of whom knew each other, who were able to spur each other on to writing the best works that they could produce. I don’t know if that is something I need, but it is definitely something I want.

I want someone to envy.

So maybe I should be acknowledging and thanking the author of that article instead of pouting about it.



Thank you for your time and attention.
I’d love to know your thoughts on what you’ve read.
Please comment, below, or email me at
May God richly bless you on your journey.

Unless otherwise noted, this page and its contents © 2018-2020 Jon Carl Lewis.

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